Dating with Asperger’s: A new documentary follows a lonely Aspie’s search for love

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They can appear charming and talk with superficial ease, attempting to impress others and appear experts on numerous topics. For better or worse, there is a music to dating, and while people with AS can understand the verses and often have a distinctly straightforward way of expressing ourselves that can be refreshing , we struggle with the pitch, rhythm, dynamics, timbre, and texture. Something that I have difficulty with is thinking on my toes.

Because it defies easy-to-follow logic, aspies the big idea of romance—but then, who does? She had met him on an internet dating site and they hit it off well and then she found out he was cheating on her. And on and on. I do believe those with Asperger's are best off finding someone similar, just as NT's are best off finding someone of the same wiring.

Dating with Asperger’s: A new documentary follows a lonely Aspie’s search for love

About 4 months ago I met a man online who has Asperger's. He's very sweet and we hit it off well, so we agreed to meet offline. We did dinner and a movie, which was fun. He had good eye contact though and seemed to smile quite a bit. After dinner, we walked around for a few minutes with minor conversation just looking over everything. When I asked, he told me he usually is very quiet. After we went into the movie and were waiting for it to start, he texted someone IDK who or what about. At the start of the movie I reached over and took his hand he had told me in IM before meeting he'd be ready for that since he seemed shy and wasn't going to do it first. He gladly took it, linking our fingers together and looked over and smiled at me, holding on to it for the whole movie almost 2 hours. After the movie he walked me out to my car and we said an awkward goodbye, but he didn't mention anything about a possible second meeting. He also hasn't contacted me yet about anything 2nd meeting, saying he had a good time, etc. I realize he may not be the best communicator verbally because of his Asperger's and I'm okay with that, but do his actions and lack of some actions reveal he likes me or would consider seeing me again? I'd love to see him. Before hand he'd text me at least once a day either just to say hi, or goodmorning or something. Anything you have is great. I genuinely like this man and want to understand him Consumer 0 Posts: 15 Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 3:42 pm Local time: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:15 am Blog: That time ion the cinema sounds like my first date, except that i'm the one with Asperger's Syndrome. Out of curiosity, is it you who is claiming that he has Asperger's or is it him? You will have to be very patient for him to open up. I do'nt think that I or anyone else here can tell you honestly if he likes you or not, but you seem to be willing to continue the relationship at least. Many girls would have lost patience already I think. It takes a long time for us to become familiar with people, but eventually you should notice him talking more. How long has it been now since no contact? He could have the feeling currently that the date went terribly and that you don't like him anymore. That's the type of paranoid feeling we can get. So, it might be up to you to lead the relationship for now and for the forseeable future. I mean, you should arrange the next date. Kevin something knocked me out' the trees now i'm on my knees... If he really has AS he isn't playing games. Maybe give him days or a week between trying to contact him? That way he wouldn't feel pressured. He's LUCKY to have met someone who want to understand him. As I said, I asked quite a few questions, but he answered them simply, and did not ask any himself. It's nice to know it may just take some time for him to become familiar with me. It's also nice to know another AS guy's date went the similar route Shock the monkey and TNSE: That is really nice to know. When it comes to guys and dates I'm rather shy and inexperienced myself, but if I have to be more outgoing and direct to date him, I most certainly will. Thank you Dog of the Gaps: I facebook messaged him saying I had a good time and would like to see him again appropriate I thought since we have conflicting schedules, it's less pressure than the phone, plus we met on fb , so that way he knows I thought it went well and would like to go on another date with him. He responded that he enjoyed it too, but didn't suggest another date, sooo I'll give him some time and after awhile week or so if he doesn't suggest one, I will and see what he says. Dog of the Gaps wrote:He's LUCKY to have met someone who wants to understand him. Aww, well he's really sweet though from what I've heard lots of guys with AS are. I've done a little bit of reading and everything says they're sweet, honest, loyal, etc just lacking socially, but I'd personally be okay with that. How to engage him better? I feel like maybe I'm boring him or something which is why it makes me feel awkward. Are guys with Asperger's more comfortable with those awkward pauses than non-asperger guys? Cause if I know he's okay with them, I'm okay with them too. Who says you have to talk non-stop anyway right? Consumer 0 Posts: 15 Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 3:42 pm Local time: Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:15 am Blog: I find those awkward pauses just as awkward as anyone else I believe. It will become less awkward with time. Atleast it did for me. Just keep on telling him what you think and hopefully he will get used to having you around. Consumer 6 Posts: 1168 Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2008 12:29 pm Local time: Sun Nov 04, 2018 1:15 pm Blog: i'll just mention that it's probably not a good idea to pump him with too many questions. She tells me she thought I didn't like her. And she did the same thing you did in taking my hand in the movie. At the time I didn't know I had AS. And the awkward and pessimistic feelings I had about the date looking back on it were just me. She still leads most conversations as I'm not one to talk much unless you get on my current infatuation , so you could find out what that is. Of course you may not be able to shut him up and get bored to tears as he goes on and on Looking back on it other things that come to mind are: What does he consider his space... Watch that he doesn't get offended if you make a funny sarcastic comment, as he might not recognize the sarcasm. Look for little clues and then you may have to push him a bit. I was and still am such an introvert and generally pessimistic about myself. But also remember once you get use, we are generally loyal as a loving puppy. Consumer 6 Posts: 254 Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 6:27 pm Local time: Sun Nov 04, 2018 8:15 am Blog:.

How would you know. Staying Motivated Sometimes the NS partner may be so sincere, angry, and disconnected from her partner, that she might not desire to salvage the marriage. Along with these thoughts are repetitive behaviors or mental acts that the person feels driven to perform in order to reduce stress or to prevent something bad from happening. But also remember once you get use, we are north loyal as a loving puppy. ManagingAnxiety, OCD, and ADHD People with ASD are at increased risk for depression, anxiety, OCDor hyperactivity disorder ADHD. Instead, their future will be filled with loneliness and alienation from dating a man with aspergers syndrome with no expectation of improvement. In the too column, record your feelings and why you think your partner acts this way. There is not enough time in the day to list all of the confusion, frustration and sadness. There has to be reduced sharing of interests and a lack of emotional give-and-take. I typed in that note, and came up with 4 groups in the Chicago area. In such cases, it can be difficult to get the relationship back on track.